Goodbye

Saying goodbye isn't easy.

I thought as I got older, it would be easier to let go. I think the scariest thing is change, especially when your the kind of person who needs stability.

There is so many different reasons why people have to say goodbye, intentional or not. Some are out of our control and we struggle to maintain what was once super important.

The hard thing about goodbyes is sometimes we hold on with all our might - everything that we have not to let it go - and it ends up hurting even more.


I think, I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories which all comes back...but he never does. I think a part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen....it's not really anything he said or anything he did. It was the feeling that came along with it, and crazy thing I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved to fast and burned too bright... but I just thought how could the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you?....maybe he knew that when he saw me....I guess I just lost my balance I think the worst part of it all wasn't losing him...it was losing me.

It'll make ya or break ya.

Yesterday the Eric & Jack Wells award was presented to CreComm students at Red River College. One of the guests was Olympic gold medalist, Jill Officer, who made an important point about online bullying. Instead of writing about food, I decided to write a candid article about the topic mentioned. When writing about food, I don't get the chance to express many personal feelings, and this is something I have a first-hand experience with.

Social media ruined me.

I was out with a dear friend for lunch one day, an old co-worker who I hadn’t seen in almost a year. We laughed; we exchanged stories and caught up.

I heard my phone vibrate, although I was too busy having fun to answer it. I heard it vibrate again, and one-minute later, again.

Intuition told me that something wasn’t right. I dug through my purse and almost dropped my phone in anticipation of what the message could be.

“Court, god damnit did you see online yet???” the text read.

I had another four voicemails that I suspected were along the same lines.

My heart stopped. Everything around me went still. I felt like I was having one of those out-of-body experiences, where the noise seems to fade and your left trying to put information together, all while your heart struggles to kick-start and catch up with your brain.

I excused myself to the washroom, where I broke down upon seeing the horrible things that were posted about me. I never thought it was possible that at 27 years of age, I would have been verbally abused and publicly bullied.

A week prior, I was helping a friend cope with a similar experience.

“I don’t know what I would do if it happened, I wouldn’t know how to handle it,” I tried to help, but I knew I wouldn't know what to do if it were myself.

I’ve seen it ruin lives. I’ve seen it make people pack up their Facebook and disappear for years, leaving any trace of their existence to be questioned. I’ve seen people hide out as if it was their fault.

I don’t remember paying for my bill as I rushed out of the restaurant to avoid breaking down in front of everyone to see – hadn’t I been in the ‘spotlight’ enough already?

I’m not sure if I’ll ever forget my reaction, as I sat in the drivers side of my vehicle, black mascara-clad tears pouring down my cheeks.

I took a moment to read what was said about me. Lies about my current relationship, about my character, my personality, my hygiene. I hugged myself instinctively to brace myself, and then came the pain.

The pain hasn’t left yet. I remember that day so well because I haven’t been able to shake off the hurt that snuck into my life the day that I was posted online.

First came the embarrassment­ – what if my parents see? Are they going to be ashamed of me? Will this affect my future career? Will people think it’s true?

I don’t know why, but the fact that people might believe what was said was enough to send me into shambles. Why did I care so much?

My relationship suffered due to the allegations. Eventually, the allegations were discarded, even though it secretly hurt that my boyfriend had to question it. I try to think about the alternative, if it was him who was put out on the stake to burn, and if the awful things that were said were about him – I have to admit that I would probably question him too.

I don’t know why, but I instantly thought of David Milgard. I had been to a seminar earlier in the year where he spoke about his wrongful conviction, and how no one believed him. Even though this wasn’t a murder case, I truly sympathized with him, for how do you prove innocence?

Comments were posted from anonymous people, people who were too afraid to voice their opinions out loud. Comments were posted from strangers, joining in on making fun of me. Each day, I woke up and opened my computer to check the new comments, crying silently in my pillow, wondering what I did to make people hate me so much.

My days are usually spent with my boyfriend and our dogs, I rarely went out anymore as I valued my seemingly ‘boring’ life watching Netflix on weekends. Sure, everyone indulges in a little fun when they are young, but I’m not young anymore, and I’m pursuing my education, something I've always dreamt of doing - which was also slammed.

“Don’t let them get to you!” my friends would rally behind me and offer words of support. I smiled and told them I wasn’t bothered. I had to turn away a few times because my eyes welled up with tears as I wondered if it could be them who posted it. I was paranoid about who did it, and I was obsessessed with finding out who it was.

There was anger; there was disgust, more embarrassment, and pity.

Social media ALMOST ruined me.

Ironically, it's what I do for a living. For the last year, I have been studying Creative Communications at Red River, and a large part of my curriculum requires me to be present on social media.

I think it’s time to credit myself for the person I know I am, and not what somebody said online, out of spite and hate. I know I love animals, and movies and my family. I know it took me awhile to go back to school and pursue my education, but I did it, and I’m damn proud.

I’ve owned two houses prior to live with my parents, and trust me; it’s not easy to move back in! Mommy and daddy didn’t pay for my schooling, but they let me move back in for a very low price while I worked towards my degree and diploma. I’m going out on a limb and admitting that my mom lets me eat for free, with the promise that I will cook her dinners when I move into my own house again.

I would like to think that no parent would refuse to help their child when it comes to education. And regardless, who cares?

Eventually, I know I will come to terms with that statement, and I hope one-day people will realize how bad it is that our society allows public shaming. But for now, I can be vocal and sympathize with online bullying and how it can affect someone’s life, self-esteem or will to live.

Dim Sum - I Have Died and Gone to Heaven

Have you tried Have you ever tried Dim Sum?

I suggest you do if you haven’t.

What is Dim Sum you ask? The best thing ever.

You are required to sit down and simply wait for a cart of food to pull up to your table. Upon arrival of the cart, you will choose whatever plates you wish to eat. Every fifteen minutes or so, a new cart comes around with different options.

Winnipeg offers several Dim Sum restaurants, especially in Chinatown. For example, there is Dim Sum Garden, Kum Koon Garden, Sam Po and Noodle Express, to name a few.

You can expect some pretty basic dishes on the carts of dim sum restaurants, such as spring rolls, noodles and dumplings. My favourite is the stuffed steamed eggplant. It's covered with a black bean sauce to make it extra yummy. 

A server hooks you up with a paper that sits at the corner of your table, every time an item is picked off of the cart, it is checked off on your list (small, medium or large dish). 

I went to Kum Koon Garden for the first time with my mom. During the course of the meal, we had approximately eight items- calamari, shrimp dumplings, crab dumplings, pork buns, pineapple buns, shrimp cakes, spring rolls, and eggplant. The bill came out to $40 for two people. 

When dining at Sam Po, Happy Hour is from 2pm - close, therefore it's less expensive and generally the same. As long as you do your dim sum research, it's easy to find a place that offers Happy Hour prices or 2 for 1 plates. Do you research, UrbanSpoon is awesome for checking out menus and specials. 

So why do I recommend Dim Sum? Because it's awesome to see what your eating before you order!!

A Feast Big Enough for Three Queens

Peasant Cookery

This week, I did a lot of different stuff food wise.

I visited a lot of different places that I never thought I would. I enjoyed some great drinks and some good food with some fantastic company.

Earlier in the week, I went to Peasant Cookery at 283 Bannatyne Avenue.  I had the Onion Soup and mussels in a cream and balsamic sauce. Apparently, there mussels and fries are a staple at the restaurant. 

Vanessa, Natalie and I went to Lac du Bonnet for our travel assignment this week. We spent the night out at my cabin, therefore we opted to make a meal, rather than eat out. Before going to the lake, we headed out to our local Superstore to find a few things to whip up. 

For starters, we picked out some outrageous steaks. After picking out the best T-Bone we could find, we grabbed mini potatoes for a side. We also made a chipotle salad, and asparagus wrapped in bacon. For dessert, we cheated and bought Red Velvet ice cream for dessert. 

Feast anyone?? 

I think that making a home cooked meal is worth it. Sometimes it's fun to work as a team and make a delicious meal. We definitely had to loosen a button on our high-waisted pants....but so worth it. 

Tea for two.

I consider tea a food, because it falls under the "no tax" rule for food products.

What comes to mind when I mention tea? Maybe a little Tetley Orange Pekoe. Possibly Lipton's Chamomile. I bet you know the original staple tea that everyone has had in their cupboards at some point, Red Rose. 

loose leaf tea

In the last few years, we've seen tea take off. I'm not talking about Red Rose, but a new appreciation for the different variations of tea, including loose leaf. 

Companies such as David's Tea and Teavana have introduced more flavours and a different way in which we usually make tea. This process is called steeping, in which you literally take loose leaves of tea and fruit, and make it in some sort of steeping device.

Tea in tea bags are smaller pieces of tea, which quickly brews, but doesn't provide the quality or taste of full flavour loose leaf teas.

Perfectea Maker

My favourite way to steep tea is in the Teavana Perfectea Maker (shown on left). It's super easy to figure out—tea and sugar in the plastic tub section, pour water in, steep for 1-5 min, and done.

There are several different loose leaf teas that you can get. For example, there is white tea, green tea, herbal tea, black tea, Rooibos, Mate and Oolong.

Black tea is great if you want caffeine. It's also a great metabolism booster, containing ingredients such as Pu'erh, a natural weight loss. Black tea tastes similar to orange pekoe, just has better quality leaves.

White tea has lots of antioxidants, one of the first lines of defense that the body employs, claiming to prevent diseases. Also, white tea has a weaker taste, less of a full-body flavour.

Herbal tea is the opposite of white tea, providing a burst of flavour and less caffeine. Herbal is great to drink before bedtime, and you can also mix it together with other teas to give more flavour. 

Green tea is also a great metabolism booster and is a source of antioxidants. Green tea also needs to be steeped for only 2 min as it's quality is dependant on the temperature of the water and steeping time. There are also several ways in which green tea leaves are pressed.

My favourite teas at Teavana are:

White tea: Youthberry

Green tea: Sencha Jade Reserve

Flavoured green tea: Fruta Bomba

Oolong: Pumpkin Spice

Black tea: Earl Grey Creme

Flavoured black tea: Strawberry Slender

Rooibos: Caramel Chai

Herbal: Strawberry Lemonade or Peach Tranquility

Lunches For Big Kids

All my 28 years, I’ve suffered from a problem with lunches. I don’t like sandwiches. I was that weird kid who didn’t want to take lunchmeat slapped in the middle of two pieces of bread. I HATED crusts even more. Ick.

My poor mother, how she must have equally suffered. As a parent, what the heck do you buy your kid if they don’t like sandwiches? She tried every cracker-cheese-meat combination possible till' it was played right out of my grade six vocabulary. 

Well, 28 years later, here I am, and I got it down to a grind now.

I’ve had a few years to experiment and pull recipes from Pinterest, providing me a nice variety. I wanted to give a few examples of some awesome lunches that students can bring to school, something to give them energy and fill their hungry tummies that rumble all day at campus.

10 Tips for a healthy lunch:

Dying to grab that box of poutine from the commons? Here's why it's important to pack a lunch the night before while your in post-secondary.

1.) Water.

Bring those bottles friends. Hydrate yourself. It will fill you up so you feel less hungry, and if you're drinking cold water, it will keep you from putting your head down and falling asleep.

2) Skip The Bread.

Choosing a low fat, high-in-fiber bread is important. If you have too, choose a multi-grain type. Try crackers or a pita wrap instead of the traditional loaf of bread. You'll get more nutrients, which is important in maintaining diet and staying healthy.

3) Soup It Up.

There are a million different soup recipes out there, what are you waiting for!? Soups offer a low-calorie lunch option, and an easy way to fill up and stay full. Depending on what soup you can have, the benefits are endless. 

4) Fruit.

You've been hearing this since you were little. Eat your fruit, it's nutritious. Funny, they were right. Fruits provide another source of energy, as they are packed with vitamins and minerals.

5) Veggiezzz.
Red, orange, and green vegetables are legit. i.e. tomatoes, sweet potatoes, and broccoli. Another great source of energy, packed with vitamins and minerals.

6) Protein man. 

Protein increases energy. Put down that Red Bull and eat some chicken!! Other sources of protein are: peanut butter, fish, eggs, beef, soy and dairy.

Sample lunches below

Lunch #1:
hardboiled egg

pretzels

yogurt

trail mix (pumpkin seeds, craisins, chocolate chips, sunflower seeds)

apple

salad w/ balsamic dressing

water

Lunch #2:
pizza wrap (recipe below)

popcorn

cottage cheese

cantelope

snap peas

water

Lunch # 3:

hummus

triscuits

yogurt

kiwi (REMEMBER: green fruit = good)

edymeme beans

water

avocado mixed with Greek yogurt

veggies to dip (carrots, celery, cucumber)

grapes

water

bran muffin

Recipe for pizza wrap:

1 whole-wheat wrap

3 tbsp pizza sauce

Sliced pepperoni

¼ cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Instructions:

Lay whole-wheat wrap flat, evenly spread pizza sauce.

Top with pepperoni   and cheese.

Roll wrap tightly.

Cook for 1 min in microwave or until cheese melts.